best Valentine’s Day Gift

I’ve always pondered how is it that we spend years studying, investing money and committing countless hours mugging through textbooks and lecture notes all in the endeavour to attain some form of professional certificate to get a job as an accountant, lawyer, nurse, doctor, banker etc… yet, most people who I’ve personally spoken to, have not spent nor invested any or much time to read a book or attempt to seek some form of professional guidance on Love and relationships.


Upon more curious interviewing from me, most of the answers come in some form of “natural arrogance”, statements such as “I do not need a book to teach me how to love”, or “Does reading a book guarantee success?”  


Some argue and insist that relationships can’t be learn from books, therapist, counselling but only through experience.


Our instinctive management of Love and relationships for most of us, would have been “groomed” from observing our parents. This learning gives rise to 2 main problems 1. Parents aren’t always the best role model for Love and relationship 2. The dynamics of our parents’ era is vastly different from modern times, with the feminist movement, woman empowerment, the “power dynamics” in a relationship that applied to our parents, often, do not apply to us anymore.


While I am not discounting the need for practical experience in Love, I do think that a majority of us needs to be more “studious” in our endeavour to love better. I’ve personally benefitted from being made aware of the different Love languages, after reading Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages.


Often we shower our lovers on Valentines with romantic dinners, red passionate roses, exquisite gifts – all these are good acts and gifts of love. But I would like to suggest something extra this Valentines, that we all spend time to read a book or attempt to educate ourselves through objective and studied manner on how to understand and love our partners better.

With Love,
Erwin Tan


If you have any perspectives to share, do drop me an email at, would love to hear from you.

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